I am a broken porcelain vase
Each shattered piece carefully resting in its right place
Loosely held together by some glue
Doing my best impersonation of something new
But year over year, and crack by crack
I lose a little more of myself I won't get back
One day there will be so little left
My pieces all eroded, and my true self bereft
The vase is no more, no longer me
I'm the porcelain and lacquer washed away in the sea
SR Romney 2024
Worrying about futures that won't exist
Dreaming up battles I don't need to win
Seeking temptations that I won't resist
Facing the ending before I begin
Dwelling on problems that have come and gone
Commiserating over my mistakes
Replaying the game when all's said and done
Losing my chips after seeing the stakes
Never embracing the moment I'm in
Never taking time to enjoy the show
Not taking a second to gaze within
Worrying about then, not here and now
Dreading the future, and stuck in the past
Without the present, my first is my last.
SR Romney 2024
Time to rev your engines!
Hurry up and wait!
We need you taut and ready
For an unspecified date.
We need you to be vigilant,
To guard, to anticipate
The problems that may never come.
So hurry up and wait.
– SR Romney 2023
Once upon a time
I'd run to you when I was sad
You'd dry my tears and remind me
That it's not so bad
But just that's just how it used to be
Now it's only a memory
– SR Romney 2022
Moving days
In bags and boxes
Trying to arrange
The time we have left
– SR Romney 2020
Wasting away
The hours in the day
What can I say
Do they matter anyway?
It’s worth what I pay
If it shows me a way
From all work and no play
– Shaman Romney 2019
Life is an investment you pay for with time;
Interests accrue seconds of interest.
And money is much more than nickel and dime,
It’s a symbol of effort you did divest.
All too often we view our life as a game;
We buy up the tickets and hope that they pay.
Our lives are real, and are usually tame.
The lottery is throwing our time away.
If we save our minutes and value hours
Bank all our efforts, and keep looking forward.
We’ll be there when our life finally flowers
And we will be able to reap our reward.
So always remember: your time is your own,
How you spend it is your decision alone.
– Shaman Romney 2019
The days go so slowly,
But the weeks go so fast.
The months count down endlessly
As the years blur past.
And yet I spend hours
Counting the minutes
Until the second I finally get
To spend a moment with you.
– Shaman Romney 2018
Our time is fleeting
With moments worth repeating
Fond memories earned.
——-
Remember when I said that I might be busy because of my new job?
This quarter is the busiest time of the year, and although its overwhelming, I’m staying on top of things and doing well.However that doesn’t leave me with a lot of energy to sit down and write.
I have lots of stuff written down. Halfway decent stuff even.
But I’m having a bit of a problem with the whole typing it up and posting it thing.
So posts may be a little far apart. I’m going to keep trying, but worst case scenario you may only hear from me once a month or so.
Thanks for reading.
-Shaman
I was recently reading a web fiction blog/novel called Mehpi. If you are a fan of HP Lovecraft, horror, Slenderman/ The Fear Mythos, Doctor Who, or just a good story in general, it is worth checking out. The author is currently editing it, and then they will take it down when they get a publishing deal. So there’s a time limit too. Check it out and come back here when you are done.
There was a part of the story that sparked a thought in my head, and so I wrote about it below. Spoiler free of course.
In the story, the main character is asked about parallel universes. For those who don’t know, the idea behind parallel universes is that for every decision a human makes, there are two or more possibilities. Lets use a fork in the road as an example. There is a left path and a right path, or two possibilities. At that moment, two universes are created. One where you decided to go left, and one where you went right instead.
According to the theory, that happens for every single decision made for every single person, in every part of the world, through all parts of time. Effectively there would be infinite universes, some only varying slightly from our universe here. Others completely different in every way. As any sci-fi nerd knows, it creates some fun thoughts.
So the main character is asked about them, and she starts to use a coin flip as an example. (One universe for heads, and one for tails.) She is interrupted, and the thing she is talking to tells her this (paraphrasing of course):
A coin flip is not an example of a breaking point in universes. A single coin flip is irrelevant. It is predetermined by the force applied to it, the spin imparted on it, the strength of the person flipping it, the wind in the room, etc. Nothing the coin has or does changes anything, and neither does the person. People are much more irrelevant to time than they’d like to pretend.
That got me thinking about free will again. As in, do we really have any? Removing the idea of a higher power, a soul ,or anything else like that, could things just be predetermined?
Our thoughts are electrical impulses. When those impulses fire, they stimulate different parts of our brains, and make us think and feel certain ways. We make decisions based on those thoughts and feelings, which affect others, and cause their electrical impulses to fire in specific ways. This chain goes on throughout human experience, until the end of time.
With that in mind, everything I did I was supposed to do, because my brain was shaped in the right way to make my impulses travel in the exact way they needed to in order to make me react that way. Hitler would have always been Hitler. Lincoln would have always been president, and was destined to always die by John Wilkes Booth. Our descendent’s lives are predetermined before they are even conceived.
The really creepy thing is that parallel universe theory still works, but in a much darker way. Electrons still follow the uncertainty principle, and as the character in the story points out, an electron could take a different path, and then the sun would never come to existence. In a more personal sense, the electrons causing my impulses could spark along a different path, causing me to act in a different way. Same amount of universes, but without any control on my part, or any real way to stop it. We are all predestined to choose the left path, yell at that person, steal that gum, etc. But at the same time, we are just one electron away from not existing, or becoming an axe murder.
Really makes you think, doesn’t it?
-Shaman