I want to do something!
No, not that dumb thing!
I want to do something fun.I want to go play on a swing,
Or find a song to sing.
Something that I haven’t done.Something exciting,
Something spirit igniting,
Something I haven’t done before.The day is so inviting,
and this boredom so biting.
So I’m on my way out the door!
-Shaman Romney 2015
Snow falling in April
After weeks of sunny weather
Hardly seems real
When seasons blend together.A treasure? Or a curse?
I can’t decide which.
My trip home is worse
When the seasons suddenly switch.But my view is much better
Out my office window.
Either way, it’s interesting weather;
This falling April snow.
– Shaman Romney 2015
I’m lost in a world full of direction.
Exposed, out in the cold, without protection.
Cursed to be alone by predilection
For wanting to keep away from all rejection.So once again I sit in introspection.
Every thought I have; a grim dissection.
All my flaws and fears, my imperfection
Slowly twist my mind with its infection.A small part of me starts an insurrection
Against these toxic thoughts of disaffection.
Grows louder as it voices it’s objection
And coaxes me into a resurrection.In this world, I’m trying to find direction.
I may be cold, but I’ll be my own protection.
I’m hoping i will find a good selection.
Of things truly worthy of predilection.
– Shaman Romney 2015
Life is like a box of chocolates;
You typically have
Your favorite flavors.
Most of them
Taste like crap.
-Shaman Romney 2015
I woke up feeling suicidal today.
No really, its fine. I just let the thoughts play.
They came into my mind like a long lost friend,
Except the games they wanted to play were my end.Flying through images like a Dr. Seuss limerick
Painting a picture that would make people sick.
Drowning in a bathtub, getting hit by a train,
Taking an icepick to my brain.Movies of senseless violence and gore
Until the thoughts couldn’t be thought anymore.
Then they got up and said their farewell.
And then I moved on. Wait, oh hell-Seriously, I’m fine. So please stop crying.
I’m not going to do it, I’m just thinking of dying.
No it’s like a hobby, something to pass the time.
Like crochet or video games; a victimless crime.Yes, I know I’d be the victim; I’m not going to do it.
It’s too much work to actually go through with it.
Where am I going to find a good rope these days.
Security guards block access to upper walkways.Ok, I know you don’t get it; I know its surreal.
But thoughts aren’t reality. Just ethereal.
I just view life a little more morbidly.
Most people just view it more happily.But they are just thoughts, so what’s the problem?
No one is hurt if I don’t act upon them.Ok. OK! I’ll go see the doc!
I get offered meds. I’ll sit down and talk.
If it makes you feel better, I’ll even go today.
But really, I’m seriously, totally ok.
– Shaman Romney 2015
Spaced out, between thoughts
Something important to do
Almost forgotten.
– Shaman Romney
Music is my method of maintenance.
The sounds soothing my sanity to stillness.
Emotions equalized,
Anxieties acquiescing,
Crises brought under control,
And depression being defeated.
All through the timbers and tones
Of music.
– Shaman Romney 2015
Life is a struggle
Full of hardship, full of pain.
With strength gained through hope
– Shaman Romney 2015
When you say party,
Most think of beer and music,
I think D and D.
– Shaman Romney 2015
I’ve wasted time crying,
Wasted time giving up.
Wasted time with indecision,
With not trying hard enough.I’ve wasted time with hatred
I’ve wasted time with fear
Wasted time with anger,
Wasted so many of my years.I’m tired of being wasted
Tired of being stoned.
Of waking up with doubt and regret.
I’m tired of being alone.So I’m trying to make it better.
I’m trying to make it right.
I’m trying to keep on fighting
To one day have a better life.I don’t know if I can make it
I don’t know if I’ll ever win.
I don’t if this is worthwhile
But I’ll try, again and again.
-Shaman Romney 2015
Shame on The Universe 