I’m Ok (National Poetry Writing Month 2015 #12)   Leave a comment

I woke up feeling suicidal today.
No really, its fine. I just let the thoughts play.
They came into my mind like a long lost friend,
Except the games they wanted to play were my end.

Flying through images like a Dr. Seuss limerick
Painting a picture that would make people sick.
Drowning in a bathtub, getting hit by a train,
Taking an icepick to my brain.

Movies of senseless violence and gore
Until the thoughts couldn’t be thought anymore.
Then they got up and said their farewell.
And then I moved on. Wait, oh hell-

Seriously, I’m fine. So please stop crying.
I’m not going to do it, I’m just thinking of dying.
No it’s like a hobby, something to pass the time.
Like crochet or video games; a victimless crime.

Yes, I know I’d be the victim; I’m not going to do it.
It’s too much work to actually go through with it.
Where am I going to find a good rope these days.
Security guards block access to upper walkways.

Ok, I know you don’t get it; I know its surreal.
But thoughts aren’t reality. Just ethereal.
I just view life a little more morbidly.
Most people just view it more happily.

But they are just thoughts, so what’s the problem?
No one is hurt if I don’t act upon them.

Ok. OK! I’ll go see the doc!
I get offered meds. I’ll sit down and talk.
If it makes you feel better, I’ll even go today.
But really, I’m seriously, totally ok.

– Shaman Romney 2015

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