Archive for the ‘Friends’ Tag

When Friendship Ends   Leave a comment

I just did a Facebook purge. I went through my list, and really thought hard about who I actually cared about, and who cared about me. It brought back memories. Of times where these people made me smile. Times where they comforted me. Times where we laughed, times where we talked; meals, movies, and parties.

But I don’t do that anymore. Not with them. I didn’t think it’d make me sad. Many of them were strangers to me now. I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t even notice me if I passed them on the street. Some of them I didn’t talk to any more for a reason. A bad break up, or a mutual connection severed our connection. Some were withered connections; people that I always meant to check up on. But I couldn’t find the time to do that between video games and stuffing my face.

My birthday was last month. I only had 3 friends show up. They are really close friends who I love very dearly, and I truly enjoyed the company. But it made me realize how isolated I am. My friend was putting the dinner together, and she tried to contact people. But there wasn’t anyone to reach out to. The few she tried either didn’t care, or were those withered connections, angry at how I never talked to them.

Friendships are plants. Some are cacti, only needing  little bit of water to grow. Others are crops, needing tons of work to foster a bountiful harvest. All are beautiful. All need nourishment. Other wise, they dry up, and turn to dust. If you neglect the garden too long, you are left with a pile of dirt and nothing to show for it.

I understand life is a journey, and people will drop in and out of that journey. Just like love, you either grow apart or one of you dies. I shouldn’t be surprised. When I think rationally, I know they weren’t friends anymore. They were bittersweet memories I would view as I scroll through Facebook. They were just ghosts of my garden. Now that they are clear, maybe I can get to adding new plants.

But not today. I don’t feel particularly optimistic. So I’ll sit in the dark, and mourn over the husks.

– Shaman

P.S: I know things have been sparse lately, I’ve been going back to school and it eats up my time. But I have been writing a lot in my classes, and hope to share it when I have the time.

Posted 07/06/2017 by Shaman in Personal Thoughts

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Drifting Away   Leave a comment

Drifting away through time and space,
It gets harder and harder to picture your face.
The fond memories grow more unclear;
I wish every day that you could just be here.

I miss you so much it hurts to think.
The feelings are weights, causing me to sink.
Desperately, I grasp for you.
But the image is fuzzy, and my fingers fall through.

I really should call you. At least send a text.
But I have no idea of what to do next.
I don’t want to drag you in this pit with me.
In my pool of pathetic misery.

So I’ll struggle alone and hope that I’ll win;
Try to un-stick this fly trap I find my self in.
When I stop being a loser, when I am someone great,
I’m hoping by then, it wont be too late.

-Shaman Romney 2016

Posted 01/06/2016 by Shaman in Poetry

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Nothing Makes An (Adventuring) Party Like Good Friends   1 comment

Until recently, I wasn’t a very happy person.

Hell, half the time I’m still not. I’m not really anywhere I want to be in life. I’m at a job I hate, living with my mom, with no romantic prospects and no real dreams. At least any dreams I can accomplish anytime soon. Things could be a lot worse, and they are getting better. But I definitely have a long way to go.

However, even with all that, I know I would be much worse off if I didn’t have my friends. I probably wouldn’t even be here now to type this if it wasn’t for them. My friends keep me going, comfort me when I fall, and make sure I have a good time while doing both.

I know this challenge is about sidekicks, but I don’t really like to think of them that way. If anything I’m the sidekick in their stories, although I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t want to call me a sidekick either.

So, being sufficiently nerdy (and because I’ve got Pathfinder on the brain), I’m going to call them my adventuring party. Omitting names of course, there are 3 other members party, and they will know who they are. (If you aren’t on the list, it’s not because I don’t like you. Maybe if you guest star in enough adventures you can join the main party too. But all my friends are awesome. Yes, even you. You can put your hand down now.)

Life’s like this, except less dragons, and more Cheetos.

We’ll go in chronological order:

First, there is the one I’ve known the longest. We met in 3rd grade, if I’m remembering correctly. It’s been a long time, that’s for sure.

He’s always been such an easy going, laid back guy. He doesn’t seem like he has to try that hard, cause he’ll either come out on top, or he’ll just roll with it. But either way, he’ll make sure to put a smile on your face. He’s the type of friend that I could not see for ten years, but come back into town and hang out with like it was just yesterday.

He just always seems to be able to lighten a mood, strike up a party, and generally just makes me feel good when he’s around.

If we are going with the classic adventuring party, he would be the rogue.

Quick witted, sure to get you into trouble but can get you out just as quickly. Although not as stalwart as the fighter or as powerful as the wizard, he’s just as invaluable as both of them. Plus, rogues are totally my favorite class.

Next is my friend I met in high school. He is the reason I am the man I am today.

In 9th through 11th grade, I was a weirdo. Well, I still am, but back then I was even more so. Wearing vests no matter what the weather, playing Yugi-oh cards, angst-ing out to Linkin Park and Metallica, etc. Not really doing anything important or thinking about anything worthwhile.
All that changed when we became friends. I don’t know why he decided to invite me on that camping trip, but we really hit it off. He is the reason I even care about philosophy, psychology, religion. Pretty much everything I write or care about know was influenced by him.

Plus, he introduced me to the world of fine cigars and bourbon. It doesn’t get better than that. It was totally worth skipping calculus to hang out.

He would be our parties’ wizard. Wise beyond his years and full of arcane knowledge, with just enough insanity behind it all to make things entertaining. Also the one with all the fun tricks and toys.

Last, but most definitely not least, is a more recent addition the party. She and I have known each other for years, but it was only through suffering the hell that was my last relationship that our friendship got stronger.

She was my ex’s roommate, and let’s just say, nothing brings you closer like adversity brought on by someone who never pays their rent. She’s just awesome. She helps me see my daughter, gives me rides everywhere, and is always willing to give me a hand. She is one of the strongest and most loving people I have ever met.

She will also listen to me rant for hours. Just imagine being forced to listen to me rant day after day. Not this nice, edited, coherent stuff. Just pure, uncut brain vomit. Sure it might be fun at first, but eventually you’d probably want to kill me just to shut me up. But she’ll not only sit and listen, but she helps me build new ideas, and tackle things from new angles. Although she may not know it, she is one of the driving forces behind this blog. If I couldn’t rant to her, I would never gather my thoughts enough to write these posts.

She is supportive beyond belief, and without her, I don’t think I would have made it through my emotional problems. She was there when I needed someone most, and I owe her my life for that, literally and gladly.

Let’s see: strong, willing to help others and sacrifice herself, protecting her friends… Sounds like a cleric to me. Not one of those fruity clerics with the staff though. One of those clerics that will smash you up with a mace if you piss them off. But otherwise is completely pleasant and helpful. She’s smart, and could kick your ass. Well, definitely my ass at least.

What class would I be?

Well if we’ve got the rogue, the wizard, and the cleric, I guess that would make me the fighter.

Strong, tough, and extremely protective of his friends. Willing to take the hits, because he trusts that his friends will have his back.

I think it suits me. Although I can’t say I’m the defender of my friends, or that I help them out as much as they help me, I’d like to think they know I do the best I can. I would gladly put myself in harm’s way for them, even when they charge headlong into battle, run screaming with the loot, or have just lit the building on fire (and it totally wasn’t their fault.)

If there is anything I want you guys to take from this little rant, it’s this: I love you guys so much, and I am absolutely honored to call you my friends. I can not put into words just how much you all mean to me, and I hope we will get to keep having these adventures for the rest of our lives.

Now, if only we could work on the loot gathering part… 🙂

-Shaman

Posted 08/23/2014 by Shaman in Weekly Writing Challange

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