Archive for the ‘depression’ Tag
I fear I'm a slave to medication
Without pills, I don't really feel like me
I lack any drive or dedication
To help me live life, to help me break free.
Is it slavery to want to be more
Than a slob staying locked up in my room?
Are these pills key to opening the door
Helping me escape my self-imposed doom?
Do these drugs make a farce of who I am?
Or do they let me show you what is real?
Do they finally let me give a damn?
Or are the drugs here to help me conceal?
For now, I still take them, knowing it's best.
I'm better unsure than being depressed.
– SR Romney 2023
The thought hits my head like a battering ram.
The walls shake and rattle with the blow.
Again and again, I feel the idea slam,
Carried by my demons from below.
I throw my liquor cabinet in the way
As I hear the thoughts clamour and shout.
The bottle won't do much to keep them at bay;
I'm searching for another way out.
The medicine cabinet won't do the job,
Though it might dull the fear for a bit.
The crashing gets louder; I hear my self sob.
There is no where to run, this is it.
I check my defenses, meager as they are.
I find a slick, bloody kitchen knife.
I see a clear route, but dare I go that far?
All these thoughts are here to claim my life.
The world falls away with a resounding crash
As my brain hangs on fight versus flee.
My final decision, a decisive slash;
I sever the thoughts and become free.
– SR Romney 2023
There’s a fucked up strength in suicide
That no one seems to realize.
Slaying a monster that only you can see.
Or being your own hero,
Rescuing your self from the darkness
Because no one else could.
Because you thought no one would.
Suicide isn’t weak, or pathetic.
But just sad; misguided.
People will help you write your story.
So don’t close your book
Before its done.
-Shaman Romney 2016
Shame on The Universe 