Inside, I feel I must be a strong man
I need to be the kind of man I know
When others flee, to be the one that ran
Towards where even the brave dare not go
Not just strength of muscle, nor strength of arms
But strength of iron willed soul, and of mind
Strength to withstand all the world’s ills and harms
That fabled inner strength, so hard to find
Strength to persevere under immense weight
To see triumph when all seems to be lost
To see past good enough, and stride towards great
To keep the flame lit, no matter the cost
I know I’ll struggle, I know I may fail
Even if I do, imagine the tale?
I recently officiated my sister’s wedding. As I was writing out my script, I had difficulty finding examples of the entire ceremony. I want to share this here so that others who get the honor of officiating are able to use my work as a starting off point.
It will also allow those who couldn’t make it to the ceremony to read my words. The ceremony wasn’t recorded, so this along with pictures is as close as some people may get to experiencing the wedding.
I have removed all personal information, both for privacy, and so you can add the information you need for your ceremony, if you choose to use it.
[Begin]
(To crowd):
Please stand for the procession.
[Procession]
(To crowd):
Friends, family, and dearly beloved; we are gathered here today to celebrate the culmination of the love between two people who are dear to us all: (Full names of both partners). I thank you for joining us for this wonderful moment in time.
You may be seated.
(Wait for crowd to sit)
[Introduction]
Love is our life’s work. We all crave it. We strive for it in our every moment. From the first time we open our eyes, to our last breaths, our lives revolve and resolve around love.
Through love, all is possible. We enrich the world through it, we come together because of it, and we would flounder without it. We can build the world’s greatest monuments and withstand the greatest hardships through love.
We are all products of love. We are built from it. Shaped by it. Galvanized by it and perfected in it. Our lives are an ever-changing journey, but we cannot take our first step on life’s road without the loving contribution from our parents. Through them, we receive our first taste of love. Through our youth, we are nurtured and fostered by their love. And, one day, our parents show the heights of their love, with the act of presenting us to our own chosen love.
Who gives these two to each other for their commitment to matrimony?
(Parent 1: Her Mother and I.)
(Parent 2: Her Mother and I.)
(Parents hug couple, place their hands together, and take their seats.)
We all wander our lives unfinished, hoping for the opportunity to find the person that completes us. We carry our flaws, our burdens, our struggles, with weary arms. We look at art, and listen to stories, and sings songs about how we wish we could find our better half to help us through life; to share our burdens with each other and lighten each other’s load.
(To couple):
You two, who have searched your whole lives for love, are truly blessed. You’ve both struggled to find you better halves, and you’ve succeeded. You complete and complement each other and are both greater than the sum of your parts. Although life will still be hard at times, with your love by your side, you’ll hardly notice as your pull them close, and keep them near.
Marriage is the greatest statement two people in love can make. It is a promise to value the love you share. It is a commitment to always be there for each other, to stand side by side in times of triumph, and carry one another through times of hardship. It is the duty of providing strength for one and other, and the privilege of getting to do so.
Or, to put it simply: it’s kind of a big deal.
But as I look at you two now, I know it is a good deal. On behalf of everyone here, I thank you from all of our hearts for allowing us to share this moment of love with you.
[Readings]
(To crowd):
The couple has asked for a couple of readings. The first is from (Parent 1).
(Parent 1’s reading)
Thank you for your words.
The second is from (Parent 2).
(Parent 2’s reading)
Thank you for sharing.
[Consecration]
(To crowd):
In a typical wedding, this would the moment I perform the consecration: a blessing for the couple’s union. But this is not a typical wedding, and I am not a typical minister.
Instead, I would like to read a sonnet I have written to commemorate the occasion.
The vow of marriage is a great commitment. By sharing your vows now among all who have gathered today, you solidify and externalize the promise to each other you already hold inside. As you hear each other’s words, etch them into your heart and always keep them close. As you say your vows to each other, feel the meaning behind each and every word, and live them through your every action.
(Partner 1 reads her vows)
(Partner 2 reads her vows)
[Ring Exchange]
(To crowd):
The couple will now be exchanging their rings.
(To couple):
The rings are not only a symbol to the world of your commitment to each other, but a simple reminder: you are encircled in your love for one and other, and always will be.
(Ring bearer brings rings in box)
Please take each other’s hands and repeat after me:
With this ring, I thee wed.
(Partner 1: With this ring, I thee wed)
For today, tomorrow and the rest of our days.
(Partner 2: For today, tomorrow and all of our days.)
Please wear it as a sign of our promise today,
(Partner 1: Please wear it as a sign of our promise today,)
And know my love is with you – whether far or near.
(Partner 2: And know my love is with you – whether far or near.)
(Couple places the rings on each other’s fingers)
[Declaration of Intent]
(To couple):
(Full name of partner 1) and (Full name of partner 2), you have vowed to always love each other, and have exchanged symbols of that love. We have but one more step before you continue on life’s road together.
(Partner 1), do you take (Partner 2) as your lawfully wedded wife, to love and support through sickness and health, through good times and bad, for as long as you both shall live?
(Partner 1: I Do.)
(Partner 2), do you take (Partner 1) as your lawfully wedded wife, to love and support through sickness and health, through good times and bad, for as long as you both shall live?
(Partner 2: I Do.)
[Pronouncement]
(To couple):
Then by the power vested in me by the State of (State of Ordination) and the (Church or authority, as applicable): I now pronounce you married.
You may now share the first of many kisses as a married couple.
(Kiss)
It is my great honor to be the first to introduce: (New combined name of married couple)!
We spend our whole lives searching high and low.
We struggle past obstacles near and far.
We fight every day so that we can know,
That we have found love here, right where we are.
Thousands have said it in a million ways:
With poems, with music, with works of art.
Expressing true love for all of our days,
Giving a voice to our quivering heart.
Your actions today are your confession
Of all of your feelings you couldn’t hide.
You transcend words with this, your expression:
The act of you standing here, side by side
I know I speak for us all as I say,
“May you be forever blessed on this day.”
When I try to ponder philosophy
I ask myself, “why does this all matter?”
Is it important to understand me
If I’d rather live mad as a hatter?
Do we need to grasp all the universe
In order to till and plant the soil?
Should we now carry this forever curse;
Spend all of our thoughts in this turmoil?
Existence exists, and A equals A.
Or, I’m nothing but a brain in a jar.
A thousand schools of thought all just to say
We think we think, and think we know we are.
These questions are things I feel I must ask,
Although my life’s work won’t fill up the task.
Sad eggs
Bad eggs
Couldn’t have been glad eggs?
Or maybe even rad eggs?
Best I’ve ever had eggs?
No, instead they are cad eggs
Just a passing fad eggs
Trying to make me mad eggs
Bad eggs
Sad eggs
The world is too loud,
Like a crowd of construction workers
Jack-hammering my head constantly.
Taking out the floor beneath me
With their dissonant cacophony.
That’s the questions everyone has after events like this. Fifty eight innocents dead, and hundreds more injured. A single gunman fired upon concert goers using a rifle modified to give it an automatic rate of fire. Once police made it to his room, he shot himself. As of this writing we don’t know a motive, and speculation is rampant. News is coming out, victims are dying and recovering, and vigils are being held.
America has put aside all of our political differences and came together to support the victims of this tragedy in a sign of humanity and respec-
Oh wait, that is what SHOULD have happened.
What ACTUALLY happened is a bunch of Democrats started screaming for gun control and blaming Republicans for the deaths, and a bunch of Republicans clutched their guns and screamed of Democrat false flags.
Some, like Hillary Clinton, didn’t even wait for all of the bodies to be picked up before pushing oddly specific political agendas. They didn’t finish picking up victims until 2 pm; she sent those tweets at 8 in the morning. The real icing on the cake is she asked us to put aside our politics so we can push forward with her politics. Because it’s not about politics, right?
Other people, like Hayley Geftmen-Gold, celebrated the deaths. We all know only republican gun-toting hicks listen to Jason Aldean, right? We all know your political affiliations make you worse that Hitler, right? I wish her opinion was an outlier, but it isn’t. Go on Twitter, Facebook, or YouTube comments and you will see many people saying the same thing. She was just dumb enough to get caught.
The right-wing had their fair share of stupid behavior. In addition to the pearl clutching and fear mongering around guns that always happens, we had people like Alex Jones trying to claim this is a false flag. These claims have been rampant on Twitter, YouTube, and 4Chan as well. We have people claiming it was the government, or the casino owners, or the Illuminati, or some other evil entity. They don’t really care about the victims, except in their use as proof of a nefarious plot.
Bill O’Reilly said shootings like this are just the price of freedom. This one is a little more forgivable, as he doesn’t seem to have bad intent. But this was too soon for that sentiment. This was written before we even knew the final casualty report, and although Bill O’Reilly has never been the voice of reason, you think he would’ve known better. Although I feel his contribution is less bad, it still feeds into my main issue with all this nonsense.
I understand people are sad, and are upset. People are angry. People want to find something or someone to blame. Just like when an ISIS supporter shoots up an office building with his wife and people blame all Muslims, we want the easy answer. We should look for answers, and we should find solutions.
But just like you wouldn’t send an angry email to your boss, you should start prescribing solutions when you are seeing red and we don’t have information. Those of you on the left screaming for strict gun control right now, I ask: If the shooter was an ISIS supporter, would you support us banning all Muslims from America?
I would hope your answer is a quick and vocal NO!
Should we prescribe an extreme over reaction that doesn’t even solve the problem? Should we do it because people are angry? If you don’t support it, does it put the victims’ deaths on your head? Should you pray to God for forgiveness for believing in the First amendment’s free exercise clause?
The answer to all the above should also be no.
The same is true with this. We need to learn more about how this monster obtained his weapons, what his motive is, and what laws were missed or ignored. From what little bit we know now, there are some simple things we can do already. Regulating gat cranks and bump stocks is a good start, but nothing we know at the moment shows any of the policies democrats are screaming for would have prevented this.
That makes what they are doing seem like ghoulish opportunistic tribalism. I don’t believe in the tit-for-tat mentality. Even if Republicans were awful for politicizing the Pulse shooting, it doesn’t make you any less awful for doing it with this one. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and you pooping your pants isn’t suddenly OK because the guy next to you did it too. It’s still gross behavior, and we should be better than that.
That isn’t to say we don’t need to do something; we desperately need to take action. As I stated when I wrote about the Orlando shooting, we have been too complacent for far too long on issues like these. Stephen Colbert put it best when he addressed Trump directly on his show, and I’ve posted the clip below. We should do something. If Republicans don’t like what is being proposed, they should make their own proposals. Either come up with a better plan, or accept the one the Democrats have. Either way, do something.
However, before we act, can we take a little time to mourn? Can we take a least a day to be sad for the victims and their families? Can at least we give a moment of silence for the dead?
You may think by politicizing this you are helping. You think you are being respectful. You think that is shows you care about the victims. But it isn’t helping the victims, or your cause. Would you be screaming your political points at a funeral for a family who lost their son? Or for a husband who lost his wife? By jumping into politics so soon, that is exactly what you are doing.
You are taking a tragedy someone else is living through, and you are making it about you. You propose your solutions to their problem. You are ignoring their pain and suffering by not being there for them, and instead you are using it for your own means. You may think you are being noble and your intentions may be good, but it is selfish and divisive in a time where we need to be there for those in pain.
Be angry. Get motivated. Write down your thoughts, find your representatives contact information, and find out who pays them. Write down angry emails, work through your thoughts, and discuss it with your friends. But leave the specifics for a time when you are thinking clearer, like you would if it was an angry email to your boss. Take a moment to just feel the tragedy that happened. It will help galvanize you for when we start to solve it. The time for solutions will come sooner than you think.
So, when is the best time to make it political?
I don’t know. There’s not a specific rule in place for tragedies like this. But maybe next time, can we at least give it a day before we start making it political? If you are too impatient to do that, then can we at least wait until the bodies are cold?
Shame on The Universe 