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I’m kind of down today.
My friend is going on a trip for a couple of weeks. For a normal person, it wouldn’t be a big deal at all. But I have some fairly heavy issues with abandonment, and therefore there is a part of my brain that is currently freaking out and curling up in a ball to cry. I know all of the tips and tricks to calm it. The opposite emotion reaction, the mindfulness, etc., and it does help. It’s probably the reason I’m not actually freaking out in a ball and crying.
But my brain, being the wonderful and magical machine it is, loves to find new and creative ways to bring my issues to the fore of my mind. I know (well, I can safely assume at least) she’s not literally going to leave and never return. I know once she leaves, my friends won’t literally cut me out of their life. I know that none of these nasty worst case type things will happen to me, because it’s not how rational adults handle things. Despite my friends being bundles of issues like me, I know they wouldn’t do that.
But then my brain brought a new thought up:
“What about abandoning you symbolically?”
What that means, is that although she may be leaving on a trip, and may not in fact drop her entire life and run, she is using this as a trip to soul search and figure out her life. When she’s done doing that, I’m afraid she’s going to find I’m not one of the good things there. Then, she’ll come back, smile, be nice, but slowly build back the distance that I’ve worked so hard to remove. Then all my friends, many of which are her family, will just slowly distance themselves from me too. Then my brain will be right, that nobody ever really loved me, I should be alone forever, blah blah blah…
Look, I know it’s not the reality. I know that is all my crazy, my demons coming to the fore again. I’m working on it, and doing ok. But I am going to miss my friend. We were getting close, and even debating starting a relationship. (Yes, I know, internet relationship gurus, friend zone and plenty of fish and all that, but this is more complex. Or, you know I’m being strung around. Either way, she’s got enough problems too that I’m going to at least let this ride to the end.) I have a feeling that might change, but I need to keep telling myself that it may change for the better too.
If you say it enough times, it should come true, right?
At my work, we have a set of core values: things that as an organization we are supposed to embody as lowly paid employees. Not that it’s wrong to have core ideal for your organization, in fact I think it’s a requirement of any successful one. But my work place, at times, takes it to the level of World War 2 propaganda. They talk in long flowing speeches, making it a point to try to build you up and motive you to be ideal. Well, their ideal. Although group visions and goals are great, I don’t think you need to make your employees march lock-step in order to have a successful company, and individuality should be encouraged. But alas, being skilled at most jobs nowadays is measured by how well you can sit down, shut up, and do as you’re told.
I bring all that up because our core value that they selected for the month was selfless and supportive. Most of the time, we just end up reading lines off a pre-prepared training sheet, all while putting on a smile and pretending to care. It was a pretty boring training, and I wouldn’t even write about it, except for one of the things they talked about during the training bugged me.
They said, “Now, everyone has heard of the golden rule: Treat others as you would want to be treated. But I want everyone here to apply a new rule above that one. The platinum rule: Treat others how they want to be treated.”
Now, I know my co-worker obviously (well not obviously, but hopefully) doesn’t actually believe in that. I’m also pretty sure that the trainer who created it probably felt that they we being creative more than anything else, and just hadn’t given it much thought. Had they done so, they’d have figured out how colossally stupid the very idea of that rule is.
First of all, you’d be completely missing the point of the golden rule. Treat others as you want to be treated is treating people how they want to be treated. You can be nice to the people you help as part of your job because we all hate the crappy people who are jerks to us when we need to be served. It amazes me how many people just don’t get that.
Secondly, the new rule itself is stupid. At worst it’s telling you to be subservient to other people’s desires, and at best it’s telling you to do the same thing as the golden rule, but a little bit nicer. There is a difference between saying, “the customer is always right,” “give them the pickle!” and all that other stuff. But telling people to “go above and beyond the golden rule” just rubs me wrong.
For example, I want to be treated like royalty. I want to be handed money for doing no work, and get beautiful women to jump all over me and attend to my every whim. According to my work, all my attractive co-workers should be making me dinner and giving me money. That would not make me a good person. That would make me a jerk.
But hold on, you say. You your self aren’t following the platinum rule, and therefore you missed the point. You should rethink your premise and your life you say. To you I say firstly, I’m royalty and therefore you shouldn’t question what I say, peasant. Secondly, and more importantly, you shouldn’t let jerks push you around. The rule is not designed around the idea that everyone will use it, but that everyone should use it. Thus, if you follow the platinum rule, you become a door mat. But if you follow the golden rule, you can still decline them, because even though part of you would really want to have people not do it, another part of you knows that being told off is how you would want to be treated.
Either that, or you are just an egotistical ass. 🙂
-Shaman
Sometimes its hard to notice all the things you do for me,
It feels like I ignore you, or tell you to leave me.
It’s really hard to let my feeling show,
But there is something I need you to know.
Chorus:
You’re the lighthouse there to guide me when I’m lost out at sea.
You’re the one who keeps me going when I’ve thrown away the keys.
You’re the one who keeps me fighting when I feel like giving up.
You’re the rock that holds me steady, you’re the one I love.
So when I’m feeling lonely, like the world has let me down.
I’ll close my eyes and remember that I’ve got you around.
I’ll try so hard to let my feelings show,
and make sure that you always know.
Chorus
So when you’re feeling lonely, like the world has got you down.
Just close your eyes and remember, all the love you have around.
Then I’ll hold you close and never let you go.
I’ll look into your eyes and make sure you always know.
Chorus X2
Copyright Shaman Romney 2012
Here at work,
Same as before.
Nothing changing,
Life is a bore.
Just the same shit, a different day
The same shit, a different day.
Stuck at work,
I’ve got nowhere to go,
But don’t complain,
Here they own your soul.
Its the same shit, different day.
Just the same shit, a different day.
Stay at work,
don’t go against the grain.
Get back in line,
Try not to go insane.
Just do the same shit, a different day
Yeah its the same shit a different day
Same shit, different day.
It just the same shit, different day.
(Instrumental solo)
Here at work,
you’re out of luck.
Just do your job,
’cause we don’t give a fuck!
It’s just the same shit, a different day. (Same shit, different day.)
Yeah just the same shit, a different day. (Same shit, different day.)
Always the same shit, a different day. (Same shit, different day.)
Just the same shit different day. (Same shit, different day.)
Copyright Shaman Romney 2013
Chorus:
Oh, my little star shine, up in the sky so high.
You shine so brightly in the night, everyone can you, oh my-
Oh, my little star shine, I’m just so glad you’re mine.
And I will love you all my life, ’cause baby, you’re my little-
You can call me a dreamer ’cause I stare at the stars for days and days.
Combing inch-by-inch through the night sky, ’til I see you shine, and you catch my eye.
Then I make a wish, close my eyes, and hope that you will come and see me tonight.
When the sun comes out you have to go, please don’t go, please don’t go my little-
Chorus
Everyday I find my self taking time to think of your smiling face.
Every place I’m with you feels like heaven, oh it feels like heaven because I love you so.
When I’m next to you, I never want the day to end, or the fun to stop.
So I’ll play pretend that you’re here with me when you have to go, please don’t go my little-
Chorus x2
Copyright Shaman Romney 2012
I see your face in my dreams,
Smiling like you always are.
It keeps me warm while I sleep,
Gives me strength when the days are hard.
I see your picture on my wall,
A frozen pane of love and joy.
I count the minutes, the hours, the days.
Until I’ll get to see you again.
You give meaning to my life,
And I’d give anything to you.
My love for you is never-ending,
I hope that you can see that.
I see your picture on my wall,
A frozen pane of love and joy.
I count the minutes, the hours, the days.
Until I’ll get to see you again.
Chorus
Alt chorus:
You give meaning to my life,
I’d give my everything to you.
My love for you is overwhelming.
I hope that you can see that.
I see your face in my dreams,
Smiling like you always are.
Copyright Shaman Romney 2010
A letter arrived in the mail today,
It came across the sea.
The butterflies and flowers all smiled at me,
a bitter-sweet irony.
I read through it all with tears in my eyes.
Something close to me died.
It took its last breath, and left this world.
I lost the love between you and I.
Your voice arrived on the phone today,
It came across the sky.
I tried so hard to hide the pain in my heart,
I still can hear you cry.
I hung up the phone with tears in my eyes
and then I broke down and cried.
As much as I try, I know that its gone.
I lost the love between you and I.
Your smile’s the moon, and your eyes are the stars,
but they wont sparkle for me.
I no longer see you when I look at the sky,
I’ve lost the love between you and I.
You’re gone from my life.
You’re love passed me by.
You’ve left my night sky.
I’ll miss you, goodbye.
Copyright Shaman Romney 2009
Baby, you’re my galaxy girl.
Baby, you are out of this world.
You’re smile’s the moon, and your eyes are the stars.
I can see them from wherever we are.
I look at the stars and they sparkle for me,
How I wish the whole world could see
that, baby, you are out of this world.
Baby you’re my galaxy girl.
Baby, star gazers can see you tonight
when you come out after the twilight.
I stare deep into your cosmic rays.
I stare deep for what seems like days.
How I wish that time could slow down
that way, you’d always be around.
But you disappear in daylight.
Baby, I wanted to see you tonight.
Baby, you’re my galaxy girl.
I’m coming to see you, out of this world.
I’ll fly past the moon, and up to the stars.
Everyone can see us where we are.
I look into your eyes, they sparkle for me.
I’m so glad the whole world can see.
That our love is out of this world.
Baby, you’re my galaxy girl.
Chords D-D-G-D
Copyright Shaman Romney 2009
Got up out of bed, thoughts run through my head,
About my dreams the night before.
I look at stars above, and think about my love.
Yes, all my thoughts go back to you.
You said you had to go, I knew you couldn’t stay,
and so you moved so far away.
Ever since that day, I don’t know what to do.
‘Cause all my thoughts go back to you.
Chorus:
It feels like I am going to fall,
so I’ll press my back up against the wall.
There is nothing that I can do
When I still love you.
Maybe one day, I’ll come around;
I’ll get my feet back on the ground.
One day I’ll get back next to you.
Until then, my love will stay true.
You told me to move on, I told you not to cry.
And we will both have to try
To get along in life, without each other there.
But we’ll have the moments we’ve shared.
The memories of our love will never fade away,
And they’ll grow sweeter every day.
But how can I move on; How will I get through,
When all my thoughts go back to you?
Chorus
Chords: G-D-Em-C Repeat through song
Copyright Shaman Romney 2008
When the sun his your eyes,
the whole world stops for you.
And when your smile shines,
the whole world smiles too.
Chorus:
Lovely smile,
Lovely eyes.
All your beauty,
Brings the world alive.
Drawn into the deeper blue,
The wondrous color of your eyes.
I can not pull my self away.
I am completely mesmerized.
Chorus x2
When the sun hits your eyes,
My whole world stops for you.
And when your smile shines.
I’ll always smile too.
Copyright Shaman Romney 2008
Shame on The Universe 