A Letter to My Former Self (Weekly Writing Challenge)   2 comments

First off, I tend to WAY over think things. So naturally when a prompt about time travel comes up, my mind goes off with all the things that wouldn’t work: the grandfather paradox, the conservation of history, the what-if-I-squish-the-butterfly-that-somehow-emancipates-the-slaves-and-creates-sweet-n’-low problem, etc. I think because of my tendency to over think, I can’t really do a blog post on a historical event and time. Well I could, but it would probably be way to long for anyone to bother reading, although I’m sure someone would find my ramblings about killing Hitler’s dog and investing in Google would be entertaining.

But as I thought about what I wanted to say, my thoughts turned personal. Instead of trying to do a funny rant about paradoxes, or a deep rant about why it wouldn’t work, I decided to write a letter. I wanted to write a letter to my past self, as if I had the ability to pop back and give it to myself. It ended up being very cathartic. I’ll share it below. I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I did writing it:

Dear Shaman,

I know you don’t know where this letter came from. Just found it in your pocket while you are walking home. Well, I put it there. I know this is going to sound strange, but I am you, from the future.

No you aren’t about to die. No, you don’t need to save the world.

No, you absolutely SHOULD NOT TURN AROUND RIGHT NOW!!!

I got you, didn’t I?

If you had anything important I had to tell you, I wouldn’t be able to. Those are the rules. No I will not tell you the rules. But if you think about the paradoxes I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Just don’t over-think it too much, you’ll figure it out when you are my age. 🙂

I can’t really tell you anything important. Not big advice, or life lessons, or things to look out for. By the time this gets to you, I’ll have had to revise it so it can be sent. Not I won’t tell you that either. I will say the only reason I’m allowed is because I’m assure this will not turn you, and therefore me, into a gibbering psych patient.

So I can’t say much. But I can give you an idea of what your near future is going to hold. If you want to stop and not know anything, this would be the time to stop. I won’t judge you. It’s probably the smart thing to do.

….

Come on, who am I kidding?

I know you’re going to read it. No way you wouldn’t. You (I? We?) are way too curious for your (our) own good sometimes.

A couple more things before I go on. Obviously I’m avoiding names, dates or any discernible information. Pretty much anything worthwhile, actually. Even so, I would like you to read without skipping, all the way to the end. If you haven’t already skipped to the end before reading this, that is.

First off, enjoy the years you will have in high school. Yes, I know that it seems fun to feel angst-y and deep right now. But you never really grow out of it, so you should cut down on it while you still have all of these friends around. You’ll have more fun if you just lighten up, and not worry about girls and all that other crap. Don’t get me wrong, deep brooding will always be one of our hobbies. But there’s a time and place, and the girls you’re agonizing over aren’t worth it.

Instead, try to spend more time will the friends you love. It’s not that you’re going to lose them or anything tragic, but you never will capture the magic you have right now with them. People just drift apart sometimes. You’ll still love them. But you’ll also long for them all the time. I wish that I could just recapture one more conversation, one more day, one more moment you’ve yet to experience. So enjoy them while you have them. They will make wonderful memories. But don’t worry, I’ll keep making sure we have plenty of good memories to come.

You will have bad things happen to you too. That’s just the way life goes. Some will be big, some on the small side, but all of them are important. You will be more depressed then you ever thought possible. They will make you angry, and make you sick. You will feel like giving up, calling life quits and leaving it all behind. Hell, I’ve gotten closer to doing so than I’d ever care to admit. You will be more miserable, and you will suffer. (See, told you that you’ll still be angst-y.)

But don’t let all that worry you. I’m sending you this now, so obviously you make it through all of the problems you face.Weird as it sounds, you’ll look back at those times, all the pain, the frustration, the hopelessness, just as fondly as all of your happy memories. Every tear shed and wall punched will have made you a stronger person. They’ve made me a better person than I ever thought I could be. Granted, I’m still learning, and I’ve probably got some more prime suffering years ahead of me. I’ll send us both (you? my selves?) a letter when I finally get past that and get to the just plain fun parts of life.

Now, I can’t give you too much advice, for obvious reasons.  But if there is one thing I want you to remember; just one thing I want you to take from this surreal experience, is this: love your life. Love every single success, every single screw up, every bad day and every good moment. Love every single breath, every single tear, every single breath, every single moment you’re alive. Love every aspect of your existence. You get one chance, and it is far too short to spend worrying about everything you’ve done. Just enjoy it all while you can. In the end, you’ll life it right if you do that.

Sincerely you,

Shaman Romney

P.S:I promised I’d stop lying to myself. Never thought it’d be literally, but here we are. I lied to you earlier in the letter. I could have told you anything I wanted to. Who your friends will be, who will hurt you, what you end up doing to those around you. But I’m not going to. I like the way my life has gone so far, and I know you will too. You maybe mad now, but you’ll understand when you finally get here.

2 responses to “A Letter to My Former Self (Weekly Writing Challenge)

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  1. Pingback: Royal Male | litadoolan

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