Archive for the ‘Self Esteem’ Tag

Dead Man Walking   2 comments

I’m boring
I’m dull
I’m an anxious coward
An asshole, not a man
I’m a bundle of insecurities and fears
Wrapped up in day dreams and fantasies
Masquerading as a functioning adult
Who pretends he gives a damn if he wakes up tomorrow or not.

I’m holding on, barely anchored to the shore
But still I’m finding ways to sever what few lines keep me moored
Using knives fashioned from doubt to hack away
One at a time
Until I’m finally released from it all.

I’ve squandered the one thing I can’t get back
Spending all my time hiding in a room
Playing video games and jerking off
That’s not life, that’s just existing
Taking up space in this world until my ticket comes up
And someone else gets my spot.

I’m not a human being
I’m just a future has been
A forgotten memory
I’m not alive
I’m just a dead man walking

-Shaman Romney 2016

Posted 10/20/2016 by Shaman in Poetry

Tagged with , , ,

What do I have to brag about?   1 comment

Right to Brag

Tell us about something you (or a person close to you) have done recently (or not so recently) that has made you really, unabashedly proud.

I don’t really brag enough.I would like to say that it is because I’m modest, but that isn’t it. I actually struggle with my self esteem. It is very hard for me to see the good in my self, even when everyone around me tells me its there. It is something that I have dealt with my whole life.Or, I only used to feel that way.

I don’t know when it happened, but one day I woke up and when I looked in the mirror, I saw the face of a guy I liked staring back at me. A not half bad looking guy with great hair and a great smile. I see the guy that people were telling me about, and I like him too.

When the hell did it happen? I have no idea. I was dealing with all the same problems, all the same issues, and I haven’t really felt like I made progress. In fact, I have recently felt beat down and drained towards all of it, and almost felt like giving up. I’ve felt stagnant, unchanging, and unsure on what to do.

But apparently, through all of that struggle, I did gain something.

I gained a healthy sense of self esteem.

I think that is something worth bragging about.

-Shaman