Author Archive
(My posts have been a little lackluster lately, but I have been writing, just not things that would be good for blog posts. I still want to keep my posting goal, but I don’t want to beat myself up too bad about it. The whole point is to keep writing, and as long as I”m doing that, I think its a positive. I’ll get back into the groove of blogging and poetry soon, so bear with me until then.)
I’ve always felt I wasn’t good at writing fiction.
I don’t feel like I’m very good at coming up with ideas. Many of my friends who are writers can pull ideas seemingly out of no where, with little to no effort at all. It takes me hours of working and retooling to get to where I’ve got a workable idea.
However, I did get a positive response to my 50 word story for the weekly challenge. So I think I will give writing it a shot. I only have a basic shell of a character right now, but I have a lot of world and universe info for it.
The basic idea would be this: A word-mage would use the magic contained in creativity to fight the forces of evil or… something. As I said, it isn’t a very detailed idea. I’m thinking it’ll be modern-day fantasy, maybe urban, but I am trying not to copy certain books in that genre.
I will probably be posting updates and parts on this blog as I work on it, but mostly I will be doing it in the background.
Thanks for reading,
Shaman
I was going to try to make a post today, but all of them were kind of lack luster. But since I am distracted by things that I like right now, I’m just going to write a little about them:
– I’m really into personality typing. The one I find I like the best is the MBTI, focusing more on function stacks. I find they help me understand others, and helps me improve my self.
– I love the Dresden Files, and I can wait for the next one that is coming out at the end of the month. I’m not a poster at the forums, but I am a long time lurker.
– I’m currently (re)playing Dark Souls for the 7th time, although I have not even beaten it once. I get like halfway through, and decide to make a new character. hopefully I will break that pattern with this play through.
– I have a 3-year-old daughter who I get to have over this weekend. She is adorable and the love of my life. I need to clean our room so she doesn’t think her daddy is a slob. 🙂
– I love learning useless information. Stuff like Tv Tropes and Cracked are like… well, crack to me. Its been killing my productivity.
I can’t really think of anything more, and I’m usually pretty bad at describing myself. So I hope everyone has a good day, and I will start the new week with actual posts.
-Shaman
Unfulfilled Excitement
Forever the bystander
Experiences had by others
While life passes by,
A blur.
A negative experience
Destroys innocence
Disgustedly I only feel
“Why wasn’t it me?”
“Why wasn’t it me?”
Shaman Romney 2014
Oh no, I need to write some poetry.
I’m going to try and do it cleverly,
But also with a sense of brevity,
Yes I am going to write some poetry.
Quickly I must write a second verse
Im pressed, but it could be worse.
I could be riding in a herse.
Finally a second verse.
Now we have reached the end.
I gave my brain an awful bend.
It finally broke, so now I shall mend.
Im taking a nap, so here’s the end.
Shaman Romney 2014
I finally found a daily prompt I wanted to do! That hasn’t really happened in a while…
What’s your most prized possession? GO!
I’m not really too possessive of my possessions.
It’s not that I don’t love my material goods. I definitely like having a fast computer to write on, a phone to text with, and a bed to sleep in.
But I don’t think about the specific brand, style, look, etc. of those things when I consider them.
Well, that’s not the complete truth. I do consider the pros and cons of an item when I am buying them. But I don’t attach to them on an emotional level at all. Even with a different processor, speed, and interface, my old HTC phone did all the same things that my new Samsung does. One phone is interchangeable with another to me., just like most other things.
I find I value memories more than any material thing. That is how I’ve always been. I’m the type of guy who tells my family and friends that they don’t need to buy me gifts around the holidays. I tell them that I am happy just to have their company. They say I’m full of crap, but I do sincerely feel that way.
I have a hard time even remembering the gifts that I receive, but I remember the times I spend with my loved ones fondly and clearly. I also remember the joy on their face when they open up the gifts I gave them, even though I can’t remember any of the actual gifts.
So, in the end, possessions fade, but the memories last for ever. That being said, I do have a prized possession.
She is an electric hollow-bodied guitar named Blondie. (Due both to her color and the fact that my dad loves the band.) He gave me Blondie for my 18th birthday, and I made a promise never to sell or give her away, except back to him. She is a beautiful sounding, beautiful feeling, beautiful looking guitar, and I love plugging her in and playing. (I can’t do it as often as I’d like due to noise.)
I have plenty of fond memories to go along with her too. Memories of learning Tears in Heaven and Time In a Bottle on her. Memories of writing new songs or just playing around on her. Memories of jamming with my friends and having fun with her. I have all of these wonderful memories tied to that guitar. That is why she’s my favorite possession.
Plus, I also have a thing for blondes. 🙂
-Shaman
Once again, giving up
The enternal loser chimes in.
Why are you even trying?
You’re never going to win.
I give up again.
I gave up again.
Falling down, covered up
the same puddle of shame
My pessimist just laughs at this
You’ll always be the same
I give up again.
I gave up again.
I guess I have to realize
Im staring a losers eyes.
The pessimist stares back me
Shows the world as grey, unclean.
My winning streak has gone away
The optimist won’t come today.
This pathetic loser is out of luck.
It time that I tried
Giving up.
Shaman Romney 2014
Cleanliness
is close to
godliness,
some say
If that
is the case,
I must be
the devil.
Shaman Romney 2014
Certainty is false
With no absolutes in life,
Keep your mind open.
Shaman Romney 2014
I find I make my best work when I’m absolutely miserable.
It seems that the best way for me to break down the walls made of my writer’s blocks is with the good ol’ sledge hammer of sadness. While that can be a great boost for my creativity, it’s hard to be happy about it.
Since, by definition, I can’t be happy.
I posted earlier this week about how I’ve been suffering from writer’s block. As I look back, I realize I was suffering from it because I was happy with my life. Not completely content, not even close to it. But enough to be momentarily happy, which is a healthy step in the right direction when it comes to my mental health.
But, although very positive for my sanity, it killed my productivity and creativity. I would stare at my screen and nothing would come to mind. I’d start thinking about all the other things I could be doing, like playing games, watching Netflix, etc. It would go like that for days, and I was starting to get frustrated with it. But I was content with everything else in my life, so it wasn’t getting me too down.
But, after I posted the aforementioned lack-luster post, I started to feel bad. Sure, I hit the first half of my posting goal for the week, but in a very shoddy, half-assed way. Next, I started to feel bad about my life, my future, my work, etc. Then, bad about me in general, with all of the fun, positive, life affirming stuff one thinks about while depressed.
Then suddenly, out of nowhere, my mind lights up with ideas. I felt the overwhelming urge to write down all my thoughts. I started off with writing about my sadness itself, but once the flow is started, it all just comes out. All the things I couldn’t write before, I was able to write down clearer and better than before. Because of this onslaught of inspiration, I ended up writing 3 poems and making a heavy dent on all of the posts I couldn’t finish.
Now, as I take a step back and look at what I accomplished, I feel happy about my writing. Which leaves me feeling contented. Which will make it harder to write next time, which will make me more miserable, and…
It is quite a vicious cycle, isn’t it?
I’ve only really started noticing it after I started writing this blog, but it’s been an undercurrent of my creative process my whole life. I can’t write a song about how I love my daughter while I’m enjoying my weekend with her. I have to be missing her voice after weeks of distance. I can’t write a poem about happiness or love, but I can write about no longer feeling happy or losing love. My best work comes from my misery.
So, is misery my only muse? No, but it’s probably the most effective one I have right now. Love, happiness, creativity, etc. are nice, and I love inspiration from the sources.But I don’t think anything will ever be quite as powerful, or get me going quite like my own suffering.
Plus, I can’t be the only artist who creates like this, right? Many great artists had a similar muse. I may never be as talented as Kurt Cobain, Vincent Van Gough, Sylvia Plath, or Edgar Allen Poe, but being tortured artists worked for them, and many would argue that is what made them great.
Plus, they all turned out happy and famous, right?
-Shaman
Whirling fire
Long, searing pain
Scorched desire
And loss again.
Unending love
Sweet, soothing rain
I rise above
With hope again
Unyielding life
Unending train
Triumph and strife
Will come again.
My soul will rise
Height, it will gain
With my demise
I’ll rise again.
Infinity
Shall not be slain
In memory
I live again.
Shaman Romney 2014
Shame on The Universe 